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Jeepers Creepers

So typically a fart is pretty instantaneous in its delivery, right? As in, it comes out and if it's a stinker you're going to know immediately. But lately I've been having creeper farts. They come out seeming harmless enough, then a few minutes later BAM! Right up the nose!

I'm not sure what's the blame for this. I've continued to have stress diarrhea for going on two months now. I've checked in with my gastro, and though he gave me some medicine it didn't really help. I'm not puking and my appetite is strong as ever, but my bowels refuse to produce anything but muddy waters. Although not the poop I'd like to be producing, the pattern has been pretty consistent, whereas this sneaky fart phenomenon is a new development that's only been happening in the past week.

Just now I was feeling the need to let one out, and before I could scurry off to the bathroom I wound up letting loose into my desk chair. I was at first quite impressed with the lack of stench, thinking perhaps the chair had absorbed any malicious odor and yet, about three minutes later, I began to notice an undeniable stank wafting up around me. Hopefully the distance from my cubicle to my co-workers is amble diffusion space. This very thing has happened three times in the past five days, usually while I'm in bed and winding down for the night. I'll let one rip, tell J to brace himself, then tell him the coast is clear when I fail to smell anything. Then within five minutes he reels away from me, pissed off and asking why I didn't warn him about the second round in the chamber. I exasperatedly explain that there was no second round, only a delayed delivery from the first.

In other news...
J and I have decided to leave the city for a bit. We're taking at least a month to go to Vermont and have some family time and some post-fire healing. We've been incredibly lucky to have friends let us stay in their basement studio apartment for the past two months, but have not been so lucky in finding a new place of our own. The bottom line for me is that I don't really want to find a new place here. So as of next week we're off! May my mom's home cooking bring some peace to my bowels...

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