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Weekend Update

Okay, again, I've been lazy about updating- so instead of back-tracking and logging the past few days separately I'm going to give you one lump summary. It's a bit more of a narrative this way.

Saturday, July 26: Woke up early to catch the LIRR out to my aunt's house. Period started night before. Took one solid poop before leaving. On the train I ate an Entemann's chocolate chip multi-grain bar and drank some water. I had a cup of coffee when we arrived, and then sat by/in the pool for about an hour. There are a number of hornets around the pool, so my nerves were pretty keyed up (I'm terrified of hornets and wasps). We had lunch- I ate turkey and salami on wheat bread with a little mayo, a can of Pepsi, and salt & pepper kettle chips. Then I went back to sunning and swimming. In the late afternoon I decided I was starting to burn so we retreated inside and took a two hour nap. I forgot to take all of my vitamins. My aunt made blueberry mojitos and I had three...oops! For dinner my uncle grilled up some steak and chicken (I had a little of both) and we had green beens and cous-cous salad on the side (this contained lemon juice, tomato, cucumber, and cilantro I think). We lumped it in front of a movie for the rest of the night and went to be early. I would like to make an aside here: I know that this is not a movie blog, but I have to say "21" was just awful. If you ever see a movie with Kate Bosworth as a central character, skip it. If they ever make a live action version of "Howl's Moving Castle" she would be perfect in the role of Turnip Head.
Other than that the woman is useless. Seriously, I'd rather watch a Lindsey Lohan movie.

Sunday, July 27

Woke up around 6am due to thunder. Fell back to sleep, woke up again at 9, fell back to sleep until 11:30. I sleep like crazy when I'm around fresh air. When I woke up I had a cup of coffee and a slice of fruit tart (custard, kiwi, pineapple, and raspberry). A few hours later I had another sandwich, same as the day before. Around 3:15 I took a crap and it took its sweet time coming out. When we got to the train station at 3:35 I had to go again. Of course the trains were severely delayed because it was downpouring. I was writhing in agony for half an hour having to poop. Eventually my cousin drove us a few stations down the line where the signal problems weren't effecting the schedules. HOWEVER the bathroom door was locked. This gave some lonely old lady an opportunity to talk my ear off about the shameful state of New York real estate and how every neighborhood she would want to live in is now full of Muslims. When the maintenance guy finally opened the door she continued to talk to me from the next stall, all about her trouble with real estate, her three exhusbands, etc. It wasn't a conversation though, because she never stopped talking long enough to allow any reply. She didn't look homeless, and I think she was more lonely than crazy. Either way she didn't get on the train so I'm not sure what she was doing there. So I was able to crap in the middle of this conversation and as I recall it came out quietly, but was a little soft. For dinner we had some ravioli with red sauce and garlic bread.

Monday, July 28

Period over. Monday was a terrible day for shitting. I felt like I had to go a million times, but due to the placement of my office restroom options I really had to throw my sphincter muscle into overdrive to keep the noises contained. What I really needed was one good solid deflation, but that would have alerted half the building to my biznizzz. So instead I let it out in a slow leak over the span of a couple of hours and my ass was KILLING me by the end of it! It came out all soft, like the texture of mousse, and was kind of hot feeling, but thankfully not bloody or anything. I feel like the iced coffee I'm drinking in the morning is messing with my gut. I don't know why because it doesn't taste strong at all- half the time I think I'm just drinking milk with ice in it. For lunch, after the shit storm finally passed, I had leftover ravioli and garlic bread and then took a short walk. I was still hungry so I bought a coke and a bag of Pirate's Booty for a snack. I was okay for a bit, but then towards the end of the work day I felt terribly nauseas for a couple of hours. Then I started eating like a pig- at around 6pm I had a slice of pizza, followed by an Amy's frozen burrito. Then I went out for a smoothie (banana, pineapple, i forget what else) with a friend of mine who's leaving town and I ate a bit of salad too. I'm totally spoiled considering many people with gut problems have diet limitations.

Tuesday, July 29

Iced coffee in AM w/ 1/2 chocolate chip bar. Average poop, but nervous feeling stomach and slightly irritated butthole. I'm fearing it's a hemorrhoid (ughhh). I didn't fell like I had to poop, but I did have a feeling in my stomach that usually means the leaks are on the way. The last time my stomach felt this way was last summer when I was taking a generic version of my anti-depressant. I was running to the bathroom about 30 times a day to squirt small amounts of blood and fecal matter into the can. I thought I was having a relapse, but it was something in the generic Citalopram that was making me piss blood out of my ass. As soon as I switched back to Celexa I was right as rain! The same thing happens when I take Azathioprine instead of Imuran. Anyway, my stomach felt like that for most of the day. I had a tuna sandwich on a bagel w/ lettuce and american cheese, a bottle of coke, and chips for lunch. I felt okay for a little bit after work, but then when I was waiting to meet a friend for dinner it started humming again. I don't know how to explain it, it's something I associate with anxiety, but that's because the feeling usually means unpredictable bowel activity but...knock on poop has been pretty okay. At any rate it went away after dinner (seared tuna w/ mushrooms, split a slice of white chocolate cheese cake for dessert). I forgot I've had the hiccups a couple of times yesterday and today, that might be worth noting.

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