First off, I've decided this narrative format is a little more enjoyable for me, and hopefully for the reader as well. Keeping a chart can give you basic information, but it can't give you the whole story. I realize this is true of the medical charts that doctors keep, and believe it is an area of health care that could be improved. I know how difficult it can be to accurately diagnose a patient, and I think it would be a better informed process if the doctor were aware of the personal details in addition to the numbers and vitals. So we're going to try this set-up for now. I will continue to provide pictures that resemble my poop for as long as I can find them.
So, to sum up my bowel activity from this week, it was a little shaky. I stopped drinking iced coffee in the morning, and it seems to have made a difference. I'm not sure if it was bacteria from the ice or the milk or what, but deli iced coffee gives me the shits way more than Dunkin's or home brewed. I had some existential stresses this week and had a panic attack for the first time in a bit. I threw up a little one day, and didn't eat much for dinner that night. I got my appetite back pretty decently though, and have started producing solid, if abnormally small, doodies. One thing I've really noticed, and has come up in the past, is the presence of Pentasa granules. They're really imbedded in there, like the little seeds in a fig bar.
It always makes me feel overmedicated, but I've had three doctors maintain my present dose (30,000mg/day) so I guess I'm not meant to worry about it.
On a sadder note, I was reading the Daily Coyote and found a link to this blog Punk Rock Mommy which is the journal of a woman's dying days before being claimed by cancer. It gives a really candid look into the spiritual logic she comes to terms with and is a fascinating, albeit it gut-wrenchingly sad, read. It definitely helps put things into perspective and, although the author is Christian, I think it provides and almost Zen-like understanding of why terrible things are bound to happen and there is no point in wallowing over them.