My Least Favorite Aunt

Why I'm referring to Aunt Flow, of course! That wretched, stealthy bitch! She sneaks up so quietly, you don't even know she's there. You wonder all day why you woke up so tired, what you must have eaten to make you want to puke so bad, if it were something tainted that gave you the runs and then, by the end of the day when a migraine is slipping its fingers around the base of your neck, it hits- FLOOOOOWWWW!!!

I don't plan on having kids (at least not biologically, ouch) so it's even more frustrating when I get my period because it's not like I'm thinking " Someday one of these damned eggs will be a baby and it will all have been worth it." No. Not me. I've been bleeding from my poontang since I was ten years old. Picture a fucking ten year old rolling into fifth grade with a fanny pack ripe with maxi pads (side note: i got my pads from my mom who has Von Willebrand''s Disease, thus the pads were huge. HUGE.) It wasn't really until college that my monthly started giving me such serious issues- at present, on the verge of turning 27, I get body aches, morning sickness, and migraines for one week every month. I'm better now than I was last year, when I was using the NuvaRing for contraceptive. I was TOTALLY insane for the week before my period and the week during as well. All I could think about in that time was slitting my wrists. I was on vacation in Florida with my parents and I was weeping on the beach- for what?? NOTHING! There was nowhere else I'd rather have been- but I was an absolute basket case. Thank God my mom saw something on TV about "PMDD": pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder and I figured out that might be my problem. It's never been as bad since I stopped using the NuvaRing, but even though Yaz has been better for me I'm still freaked out by hormonal birth control and am ready give the IUD a try. When I think about how the Prednisone toyed with my chemistry I can't believe I went on hormonal birth control to begin with.

Anyway, the reason I even started writing this entry is because my gut always acts up in the days before and during. Things are a little more urgent and watery, and I dry heave in the morning (experiencing this with J living with me is hilarious because men interpret morning sickness in one way only). I wonder about the hormonal connection with IBD- I know a few women who experienced full remission while pregnant and a few more who have the same PMS related symptoms that I do. I wrote to the CCFA's patient support e-mail sometime last year, but they couldn't dig much up. I've admittedly been pretty lazy about pursuing it.