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Asses of Fire

Just one ass, really, and it's mine. Here's a quick round up of the past few days- last Wednesday I started a 14-day cycle of Prilosec because I was having terrible belching issues. I've been pooping pretty okay, I stopped drinking iced coffee in the morning and have been taking it hot instead and that's seemed to help. On Monday night i had a slice of pizza when I got home from work, and poached pollock fillet with lentils and rice for dinner. Then I had explosive diarrhea the next morning. I didn't have coffee that morning because of my butt leakage, but I did after lunch. For lunch that day I had a grilled chicken sandwich with cheese, lettuce, and pickles, fries and a coke. I only ate a few fries (limp) and about half the sandwich (stale bread). For dinner we had broiled pork chops in Hawaiian marinade with a tomato/cucumber salad, pita bread and olive hummus. I had a little mint cookies n' cream Ben and Jerry's for dessert. Then, this morning (Wednesday) my ass was shooting flames! Every ten minutes I felt like my anus was on the verge of hysterical weeping. I did drink my coffee, I needed it. For lunch I had sweet and sour chicken and a can of coke and it made me feel bloated. However, my butt plugged up for a while. Right before leaving work I had to plop a little one out, and man oh man did my asshole itch all the way home. I think I'm getting a 'roid.

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