Almond Joys

My friend Tess, author of the blog Super Happy Eats, sent me a link to  a raw food blog that has some great tips for making almond flour. When I was still trying the SCD diet I was regularly making smoothies for breakfast, only to learn that carrageenan, an additive found in most packaged almond milks,  is verboten by the SCD rules. I was really bummed when I realized I'd have to find an alternative until I found this blog that taught me how to make my own almond milk.  Basically you soak a cup of almonds for at least an hour (overnight is better) toss them in a blender with four cups of water, blend, and then use a cheese cloth to strain it.  I never drank the milk straight, only in smoothies, so I can't really attest to its taste.  But it was pretty easy and the smoothies always came out fine.  The problem, however, was what to do with all the left over almond pulp?  Well thanks to Tess's research, she found the answer on Rawmazing. I assume most devoted SCDers have a food dehydrator on hand, so you should have everything you need to turn your leftover almond pulp into flour, and when I think of how much almond flour I was going through back then I think putting the pulp to good use would be a welcome break on the wallet! 

Holding Pattern...

Saw the doc on Monday, nothing too remarkable to report.  I've been pooping less, down to about 1-2 solid movements in the morning, and occasionally a nooner will pop out depending on how much I've had to eat.
I've been holding at 10mg of Prednisone for over a week now, and on Saturday I'll go down to 5mg and see how that does me. 

Most of my 'roid side-effects have calmed down, except I've just started to experience hair loss (no biggie, I have a lot of hair so it's not really noticeable.  Except to J, who keeps finding it in the shower drain much to his chagrin!).  I still have minor shin splints, and my eye sight could be better.  I have also been really, really bad about my eating habits since stopping the SCD menu.  Before starting the diet I had already removed refined sugars, red meat, and most dairy from my regular rotations.  I wasn't gluten-free, but I was definitely low-gluten which was a huge change for me.  And now I'm eating anything I can get my piggy little hands on!  Chocolate and cheese especially.  I'm hoping to get out and buy some healthy groceries this weekend to get me back on track. Regardless, my poop has been in good shape, knock on wood!

In other health news I woke up yesterday with that tell-tale scratch in the back of my throat that says "you are getting sick."  I started taking my multi-vitamin again yesterday, and today I've taken vitamins c, e, and b-complex as well to try and stave off whatever is trying to hurt my healthy cells.  I've been eating SCD chicken soup for lunch every day for weeks, and I had a huge bowl of it today.  I've also been drinking a lot of tea with honey but I just feel more and more woozy and sick-headed.  Oooh, I wish it were Friday!! Not that I enjoy being sick on the weekend, but after my last epic sick leave I'd feel less guilty not taking more time off.

Well, that's it for now...

On Coping (and some updates)

It was really slow at work today and I found myself sucked into the forums over at the CCFA's website. A lot of what I read got me thinking I'd like to share some of the coping mechanisms that I've used over the years to vent some of the built-up steam over life with IBD.

The very first time I ever felt humbled about my illness was when I was first diagnosed and had been in the hospital for about a week and a half.  I was down on everything, could barely be dragged out of bed to stretch my legs, singing the "why me?" blues all day and night.  And then I got a new roommate- a six year-old with leukemia.  Well that snapped me out of it.  This kid was always happy, always playing with something, and constantly asking to go for walks to the maternity ward to look at babies.  I'm happy to report she's a happy, healthy twenty-something today, but back then she had death knocking at her door and there I was literally belly-aching.  It certainly put things in perspective for me.  Since then, I always try (and often fail) to think of scenarios that are worse than my own.

Other coping mechanisms throughout my high school years included playing the drums, taking art classes, hitting golf balls at the driving range, and clumsily pummelling a boxing bag in our backyard.   I also was, and continue to be, an avid colorer, preferring markers and design books like they sell at Pearl Paint over crayons and picture books.  I don't indulge in coloring as much anymore because I feel like there's not much of a productive outcome, but the meditative nature of coloring is nothing to be scoffed at.  Despite being raised Catholic I don't really subscribe to any particular religious belief, but I am a firm believer in making quiet time for yourself, be that in the form of prayer, meditation, coloring, whatever. 

I tried therapy a couple of times, but never had much luck finding a therapist that did anything but sit and "listen" before kicking me out after an hour.  I decided I have better luck staying home and talking to myself for free.  I do, however, take 10mg of Celexa, an anti-depressant in the SSRI class of drugs (Select Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitor, I think).  I could probably use 20mg, but I want it to be a tool and not a crutch.

This blog is my latest vent, but then writing has always had that benefit in my experience.  I don't play drums anymore, nor do I have the opportunity to golf much, but I have been trying to swim on my lunch break at least once a week.  In addition to helping me relax it's also been helpful in easing my leg pains and loosening up my back and shoulders.  I discovered how much I love yoga a few years ago, but I haven't done it in a while because I haven't quite been up to participating in a full-on class.  I've done some stretching at home on my own, but I'm eager to return to a class setting and do a complete hour routine. I find that, in addition to relaxing me, the quality of my poop is outstanding the morning after a good yoga class. 

On that note, let's transition into an update on my meds and poop.  I was having some malformed doodoos with hints of pink last week, and obviously that had me concerned.  My doc decided to have me stay at 15mg Prednisone for the time being, and called me in for a blood test to check my Imuran levels.  I've put the SCD routine on hold for now, and am back to my full dosage of Pentasa as of Wednesday (that's 3000mg a day). I also got my period on Monday.  I'm not sure if it's one or all of these variables, but I've slept completely through the night for the past four nights in a row, and today I took the biggest, most normal looking crap I've seen since I can't remember when.  You know, the kind you really want to show someone because you're so proud you made it but you know that would just do more harm than good. So that has me pretty happy.  I'm also happy to have a weekend that's not totally devoted to shopping and cooking (although both of those things are on the agenda).  So that's that for now.

ttfn,
Li'l Crohnsie

oops.

Well, I fell off the bike yesterday (I know that's not the saying, but I like this picture).  I'm not beating myself up too much, as I've consulted with friends, family, and strangers alike and the consensus is that I should probably just start over.  I thought I'd done my research, but the whole intro part of the diet was something I didn't really prepare myself for enough. From what I've gleaned I'm probably doing myself a disservice by jumping in too fast.  But more on that later, about that slip...

One of my aunts passed away this weekend, and I had to meet my mom at the airport early in the a.m. and head out to Long Island for the services.  I made sure to eat a good breakfast before leaving my apartment, but somehow allowed my mom to convince me that my uncle would have something I could eat at his house for lunch.  I should have known better and planned ahead to pack myself some snacks, but I think deep down I wanted an excuse to see what would happen if I ate something non-SCD after eating only legal foods for a week.  So when my Uncle offered me home made split pea soup with ham in it- my favorite!- I couldn't turn it down.  I was even weaker, though, and had myself half of a turkey sandwich with a small slice of American cheese on potato bread as well.  I did have a gross looking mini-poop not long after, but I don't know that the reaction would be so immediate.  Otherwise I've actually felt better today than I've been feeling the past few days- a sharp lady pain today has me thinking Aunt Flo might be to blame for some of the symptoms I've been having (not many symptoms- slight tummy cramps and the occasional hint of blood in my stool).

So, back to starting over with the SCD thing.  I'm having an SCD dinner and will continue to strive to eat only SCD foods, but am starting to think of this more as a training period than the actual marathon.  My palate and my lifestyle need to recalibrate before I can really do this right, and I want to do this right. I need to take another look at the SCD chart and check off the "legal" things that should be "illegal" for me (cider is the first thing that come to mind).  I also think I need to focus on figuring out my medication situation.  I went to get some blood work done to test my Imuran levels, and it made me realize that I should probably get my meds regulated and stabilized before messing with other variables (ideally returning fully to SCD will then get me off of the meds).  My doctor had originally advised me to start the diet while still on Prednisone, but I would rather know that my symptoms are from weaning off the Prednisone and not bacteria die-off or over-consumption of grape juice (so far my only source of sweet besides honey).

I'm hoping that over the next few months the medication situation will get figured out, and hopefully I'll be ready for the actual SCD "marathon" come summer, if not sooner.  I don't see myself ever doing the intro diet for a full five days unless in dire straights, but I should definitely give it more than one day and try to move beyond it at a pace that's outlined nicely here at Pecanbread.com.  I'll also continue to build my arsenal of SCD recipes and work on improving my kitchen skills to make myself a more efficient, delicious batch cook able to handle this lifestyle for the long-term.

In other news, Aunt Flo has indeed reared her ugly head since I started working on this post, and she always causes trouble with my gut.  I'd really love to read a study about the connection.

SCD Updates And This Fabulous Stool Chart

 

1. Pooh Chart

Thanks to the guys at SCD Lifestyle for sharing this amazing pooh chart on their site today. I already have my own names for most of these: for example type 1 is the bunny pooh in my book, and type 6 is the Cadbury Flake.  I think I'm going to start using this chart as a reference in my SCD diary, in which I've been charting my diet, poops, and pill intake.  Maybe I'll share a screenshot with you one of these days.

2. SCD Issues

So, about that SCD thing.  I'm getting really effing sick of it.  I'm exhausted and angry all the time, I'm always hungry, I'm never satisfied, and I'm starting to see blood in my stool.  I can't say that last part is to blame on the SCD- this week I've weaned down to 15mg of Prednisone, and have started taking Pentasa again.  I re-introduced one 500mg pill last Friday, upped to 1000mg on Wednesday, and went up to 1500mg today.  I'm still waking up every morning at 5 or 6, but more and more it's just to pee.  I'm hoping my internal clock will reset soon.  When I get up around 7 I'm pooping a ton, and while it usually starts out looking good -type 3 or 4- it degrades pretty quickly to type 5 or 6 with shades of pink winking out of the brown.  And I've been having tummy cramps more often.

Back to diet- I've been relying pretty heavily on recipes from Comfy Belly, and am a huge fan of the morning sausages and cinnamon cookies.  But then I start to wonder, should I be eating these things so soon? Here are some questions I'm having- I'm going to try to articulate them here and then I'll take them to some SCD communities online to see what feedback I get.

-Am I doing this right?

I made the stater soup on day one, I ate only that and broiled meatballs and broiled fish...and then I had a sweet craving and made SCD-legal almond flour and honey cookies.  The next day I ate cheddar cheese with my soup, and made SCD-legal almond flour crackers. I ate variations of this menu all week, introducing mashed squash, overripe avocadoe, and homemade almond milk banana smoothies towards the end of the week. I know I wasn't adhering strictly to the starter diet and have probably moved too quickly- but I figured I was eating anything I wanted before without symptoms (thanks to the meds), so why not. And frankly, if I can't have the few things that get me through the sweet cravings right off the bat, screw the whole thing.  Also, I haven't been able to make the yogurt yet.  I'm getting a yogurt maker from a friend this week, was it dumb to start the diet before having access to the yogurt?

-What happens if I eat something SCD illegal?
I haven't knowingly cheated at all, but am worried about what the outcome/next step should be if I were to ingest something SCD illegal. Back to square one?  Or take it easy for a day or two and stick it out?

And in no particular order, here are the excuses I've been coming up with to justify giving up:

-My cholesterol.  I cannot tell you how many SCD recipes call for a stick of butter and 2-3 eggs. I don't want to trade intestinal health for a stroke.
-Too much fiber! Even though a lot of delicious things are SCD legal, many of them are things that will still give me the shits, limiting my options even further.
-Holy crap is it expensive.  I've been trying to tell myself, "you're spending as much as you would on take-out" but no, really, I'm pretty sure I'm spending way more on honey, almond flour, and kitchen gadgets.
-I am absolutely, completely exhausted.  Thanks to the 'roids I'm constantly hungry, and as a result I have to constantly accommodate myself by cooking non-stop. And in order to cook non-stop I have to constantly do the dishes and run out to the store.  It is all-consuming and I really don't care to commit all of my free time to this shit. I try to cook enough in advance to give myself a break every now and then, but I just don't seem to be able to cook and clean fast enough. J's been wonderfully supportive, as is his M.O. He made me SCD-compliant chicken nuggets for lunch today, and did all the dishes the other night. Regardless, I'm still constantly on my feet and it's wearing me down fast.

Right now, my shortest-term goal is to make it to Monday, when I talk to my doctor.  My more respectable short-term goal is to make it to yogurt making and see how that goes.  I really don't like the idea of leaving something plugged-in for 24hours, though, so I might not be willing to try making it until next weekend when I can at least be home.  Ideally, I make it a month and see some results. No, Ideally I make it a few more days and start seeing results because patience is a virtue I wasn't blessed with.  But realistically I know it can take a month or more, but then...can I really live this way for the long-term?  I feel less than optimistic about that. Seriously, this diet is harder than quitting smoking.

More musings on SCD

I was thinking about my last post and I feel like I left a lot out, despite rambling on for quite some time.  I have a hard time keeping things brief sometimes, but then I cut corners because this is a blog and short, snappy, and not proof-read is the standard, right?  Hopefully the links I inserted into yesterday's post are enough to help you get an idea of the rules and limitations of following the SCD diet. I did the starter diet yesterday and will do it again today, but instead of waiting a few weeks to introduce cooked vegetables (I believe this only applies to patients with diarrhea and other active symptoms) I hope to be having mashed squash starting tomorrow.  I grew up on a standard American meat-and-potatoes diet and mashed potatoes are on of my favorite side dishes.  Being able to have mashed squash as a substitute was a big selling point for trying this diet as well. 

To mentally prepare myself I spent a couple of months thinking about it, researching the low-residue diet and the elimination diet, discussing these options with friends who have tried these diets, and consulting with my doctor.  Last week I went to the BtVC website and printed out the entire list of Legal/Illegal foods, and took a green highlight to all things Legal.  Then I took a red pen and marked the illegal things that I would have a hard time letting go of, like soy and potatoes.  To my surprise there was a LOT more green on the paper in the end.  I looked at my calendar and saw I had a three day weekend coming up, so I chose yesterday as my start date.  This gave me about a  week to menu-plan and stock up on ingredients.  It allowed J and I to have a Valentine's date on Saturday night, but also allowed me the extra day off of work to be at home in the event of tummy troubles.

I let myself eat a lot of crap in the days before starting, but it was my unceremonious way of saying good-bye to some things I may not be eating for a while.  My short-term goal is to try the diet for a month and hopefully seeing results will motivate me to continue. The expanded forecast? It can take a minimum of one year before I can attempt to re-introduce "illegal" foods (chocolate will be the first on my list).  Some patients need more time, some can never stop eating SCD without relapsing.  I have no idea how this is going to go for me, as I am a spoiled brat and comfort food plays too important a role in my mental health.  Day one was a real test- here's what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast- egg white omelette, watered down Welch's 100% grape juice

Lunch- Six broiled meatballs, more watered down juice.  Two big cups of starter soup.

Dinner- Big slab of broiled salmon with dill butter. 

Dessert- Five cinnamon cookies- I don't know if these are really allowed on the first day, but I couldn't take the 'roid munchies.  I needed something snacky and sweet, and this Comfy Belly recipe really hit the spot!  When I was first recovering a few weeks ago and having steroid cravings oatmeal raisin cookies were something I could not get enough of.  These cookies are baked with almond flour and honey, and the end result is a grainy, chewy treat that makes for a perfect oatmeal cookie replacement.

Despite the cookies, this was not the most satisfying menu considering how much I like to eat.  I'm trying not to shoot myself down, but when I consider the time and money involved in following this diet ($12 for a bag of almond flour that has maybe four cups in it, and don't get me started on organic/raw food pricing in general) I get kind of overwhelmed.  It's difficult because I feel like I need to take things a day at a time mentally, but to succeed on this diet I need the foresight to plan meals in advance. 

I did notice a different in my bowel movements already, as just this morning my tummy felt sore and things are coming out a little looser than I'd like.  In fact I just had to run to the can while writing this post.   I imagine this is because a lot of the foods I'm now eating that are SCD approved are foods I'd been avoiding, like red meat. Hopefully it's the bad bacteria in my gut starting to flush out.  Or it could be all the grape juice.

DAY ONE: Scattered Thoughts re: SCD

Today's the day I try to tackle the Specific Carbohydrate Diet.  I'm already thinking about giving up.  I'm terrible!  It hasn't been a day and I'm already throwing a fit for some chocolate.  But cocoa, like cocaine, is addictive, and I would be doing myself a disservice to not at least try to quit it.  Anyway, that pot up there is the start of my first batch of starter soup.  But am I getting ahead of myself?  I don't think I've explained the SCD regimen in any previous posts, so let me get you up to speed.

I'm still weaning off of Prednisone, and last I saw my doctor (on Monday) we discussed diet.  I've been a little crampy and have been farting like crazy this past week, which has me nervous that the lowered dose of Prednisone is allowing some symptoms to come through.  I really, really don't want to go on Remicaide, so I figured I'd try changing my eating habits.  My first change, as I believe I've discussed here, was to cut out processed sugar.  No easy task for someone who could eat sourpatch kids three meals a day, but I did it and I was super proud.  I also spent a butt-ton of money on alternative sweeteners, like stevia, pure maple syrup, and molasses.  I had cut down on red meat, and was relying heavily on soy.  I discovered a recipe for a decadent soy "dream" pie, which basically tasted like chocolate mousse, but without any junky ingredients (well, save for chocolate).  I was pretty happy with my ability to change my eating and shopping habits, and was enjoying my new recipes.  I thought, "Hey, maybe I should try that crazy diet I read about as a kid."  I don't mean "imbalanced, fad diet" crazy, so please don't let that fool you.  By crazy I mean crazy disciplined, as the SCD is an extremely restricted diet that many people with IBD praise for easing and even "curing" their symptoms (it has also developed a following among parents of children on the Autistic spectrum).  I have two friends that have tried the diet with temporary success (both eventually relapsed for different reasons). Little did I realize I'd have to give up half the stuff I'd just retrained my tastebuds to celebrate, but oh well.  My doctor does not particularly endorse the SCD regimen, as it is based mostly on theory and anecdotal evidence, but he conceded that he has had patients follow it with success and advised that if I do it, I start while still on the 'roids. 

When I first heard of/tried the SC diet I was about twelve or thirteen, and I lasted all of one day. The diet is outlined in the book Breaking the Vicious Cycle, by the late Elaine Gottschall (see link on the Amazon sidebar). You can visit the official BtVC page here.  In addition to learning more about the diet, you can find a comprehensive list of foods that are SCD "legal" and "illegal" and while there are many wonderful foods that are legal (including bacon and shellfish) there are some real whoppers that are not.  Potatoes, all grains and wheat, rice, and soy are forbidden.  No more soy milk, soy pie, brown rice bread, all of the staples and crutches I've been leaning on these past few weeks are now out the window.  Thankfully, whereas the one and only resource for SCD recipes sixteen years ago was the BtVC book, there are now whole online communities devoted to sharing SCD recipes which also offer support and guidance.  It seems like a good time to give the diet another go.

So today is Day One- it's also Valentine's day which makes wanting chocolate even worse!  I can't complain though, I had my "last supper" to celebrate last night.  J took me out for a nice little dinner at a local tapas joint, finished off by a decadent dark chocolate souffle...mmmmmmm.  But today is a different story- back to the starter soup.

They say for between one day and the first week of the diet you should limit your intake to homemade chicken soup (following the recipe in the book), broiled beef patties, broiled fish, eggs (if you don't have the runs) and watered down 100% grape juice.  So I made a huge thing of the soup, but am really only planning on doing the starter diet for today and maybe tomorrow.  The thing is I'm still on the 'roids so I don't have the runs or any of the other symptoms that others may have when they first start the diet.  I do want to take a day or two to let some of the residual crap in my system to clear out, but I also don't think I can make it a full two days just eating the same bland stuff.  I'm ready to try some recipes!

I found this website, Comfy Belly, which has some scrumptious looking treats on it.  I plan on making the Parmesan Thyme Crackers and Cinnamon Cookies so I can snack.  Snacking and lunches are probably the most important things for me, because those are the foods that will get me through the work day.  I also love the way the author writes- she's great about communicating when a texture or end result might not meet your expectations and I appreciate the candor and honesty.  I can't wait to start testing out some of the recipes.  I just ordered a cheap video camera to document the event, but the stupid thing hasn't shown up yet so you may have to bear with still photography for a dishes.

I also want to point to SCD Lifestyle, a great resource for starting the SCD diet and knowing what to expect. These guys recently added me on Twitter and have been very friendly and helpful.

So stay tuned for my (mis)adventures in the kitchen...