This Would Suit Me Pretty Well...

Hopefully I won't die anytime soon, but that doesn't mean I can't plan ahead. Although I'm still pretty smitten with the idea of  feeding my remains to a mushroom death suit I must say the idea of having myself flushed down a toilet seems pretty fitting, given the amount of time I've spent sitting on one over the past thirty years.

Thanks to some Scots, there is now a machine that processes your body into flushable ash via a process that is less damaging to the environment than cremation. Via CNet:

"The Resomator s750 is a 7-foot stainless steel tank. It works by immersing the body in a mix of water and potassium hydroxide, which is heated to 356 F. It's also subjected to pressure equivalent to 10 atmospheres during the two- to three-hour process.

The mortal remains are turned into ash and sterile, DNA-free liquid, which gets flushed. Bones are crushed in a separate process, and any implants including mercury fillings are recovered. There are no airborne mercury emissions.

Resomation says its alkaline hydrolysis machines cut greenhouse emissions by a third compared to cremation, and use only one-seventh the energy."

Sounds good to me! But I think I still prefer the idea of a mushroom death suit popping out me-shrooms to be served at my memorial service.

I'm not sure how I feel about this...

I'm on the CCFA mailing list, although I admittedly pay it (or any of the other mailing lists I'm on) much mind. However, I was glancing at the most recent blast, inviting people to share their stories to compete in the IBD Icon contest (a play on American Idol, I suppose). Here's an excerpt that raised my eyebrows:

                      

"IBD Icons are any of the 1.4 million Americans living with Crohn's or colitis who pursue their dreams without giving in to their disease."

So first off, as someone who loathes competition, I'm not keen on turning one's illness into a contest. But beyond that I really take issue with the phrase "without giving in to their disease." It's not like we get a say in the severity of illness we each experience and how it impacts our lives. The option of "give in or don't" usually isn't an actual option. Don't get me wrong, I think it's wonderful to encourage people to follow their dreams despite the obstacles of a chronic illness, but sometimes you can't NOT give into being debilitatingly sick. I don't feel it's right to put people in a position to feel worse about themselves because they're too ill to participate in something, or have not yet gotten to a point of remission where they can continue to pursue their dreams. What if a patient's dream at present is to simply get better? That's not a lesser dream, FYI.

Lab-Grown Anal Sphincter is Hilarious, Useful

io9 is reporting via Discover Magazine that scientists have succeeded in growing a working anal sphincter in a petri dish. Although a lab-grown human sphincter has yet to be tested, testing on mice has been promising. It's a huge relief to know we may very well have a back-up in place if/when our own sphincters give out for good.

Image Credit: Wake Forest Institute of Regenerative Medicine

Birth Control Blog Carnival (fried dough not included)

So there's an online event today, the Birth Control Blog Carnival, to raise awareness for affordable family planning. I'd like to side-step from the IBD theme, and talk a little bit about birth control and why I support making it free.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure and TMI, I feel compelled to share my own troubles with various birth control methods. Condoms chafe me, lube burns me (even the sensitive kind), pills make me nuts, the ring made me suicidal and the IUD gave me a six-month long period. Despite my many personal issues with finding a safe, reliable method for my own preventive measures, I still support a woman's right to bodily autonomy and am proud to voice my support of the National Institute of Medicine's recommendation to make contraceptives free of charge.

I can't say what will work for you and what won't. As with all medications you should work in concert with a health professional to find what's right for you, but having the ability to explore those options at no cost makes doing so that much easier. Here are a few more reasons I back this:

- First off, not all birth control is for the sake of preventing pregnancy. Condoms can reduce the risk of contracting an STD, and hormonal pills are used for many other reasons such as acne, hormonal imbalances and severe menstrual pain. The latter is why I began taking the pill when I was still a virgin with no prospects of getting laid on the horizon. It also provided a small reassurance that were I to be raped pregnancy would be one less concern. I know that's really dark, but I'm a deeply paranoid person.

- Second, I believe in population control. If you happen to believe in the Christian bible, that's fine, but let me remind you the directive to "Be Fruitful and Multiply" was given when the world population was two. TWO. There are now far more children than there are loving families for them and that's a damn shame. Not all unplanned pregnancies end badly, but I'd say most unwanted pregnancies do.

-Third, I believe in free health care in general. Other developed countries have figured this out, why can't we? Americans aren't invincible. I never want to see a loved one suffer because they can't afford health care.

So those are my primary reasons for participating in the Birth Control Blog Carnival. If you support affordable family planning please join in. Post your own blog, Tweet with the #BCBC hashtag, and visit Planned Parenthood and the National Women's Law Center webpages.

Image Source: Another Wine Blog and Web MD

Generically speaking

Really, Supreme Court? Fuck you. Generic drug makers use shit ingredients, and as a result they are more commonly prescribed than brands. But they're not. The quality of the filler ingredients are often lacking, and can cause reactions in certain patients. Is it that big a deal to require generic drug makers to put warnings on their medications when they use ingredients that may cause horrendous side effects?

When I take azathioprine instead of Imuran or citalopram instead of Celexa, I wind up running to the bathroom with bloody diarrhea 30+ times a day. No exaggeration. Over thirty times a day with a bleeding asshole. While this is problematic for anyone, it is especially frustrating when the bulk of the medications you take happen to be for an inflammatory bowel disease and are meant to STOP your high-mainenance anus from bleeding. Do you think I want to pay out the nose for name brand medications? Because I don't. But I HAVE to.

I'm sick of walking into chain pharmacies that try to advertise generics as "safe" and "just the same" as normal meds when something in the fillers and binders is obviously toxic and harmful. Do you have any idea the downward spiral a bad generic med can cause in the already horrendous trial-and-error process of finding the right medication for you? Let's say you're sick and your doctor gives you a generic prescription. You feel worse, so you think that med just doesn't work for you, but really it could just be that the generic doesn't work for you. Will your doctor draw that conclusion and offer you the brand? I doubt it. Instead they will probably give you another generic prescription for a different medication and so on and so on.

So thank you, Supreme Court, for being Supreme dickheads to the American consumer.





Image Source: MonkeyMind

Li'l Crohnsie's Li'l Bro

Today I got the following text from my 20 year-old brother:
"hey i just popped my rectal exam cherry i feel so violated"

To which I replied:
"I lost mine at eight you prude!"

Yep. Adults have been shoving their fingers up my butt since I was eight years old. Do with that what you will.

So, my brother has been having some gut issues lately. And by lately I mean for years. My mom has regularly questioned if he has IBD or IBS, and I keep explaining that my brother eats like a goat, so of course half his intake runs through him like a track meet. He finally made an appointment and checked in with a gastro today, and poor baby had to wait 45 minutes. I used to wait for HOURS for that shit. There's a sick big sister instinct in me that's kind of pleased by the ability to be there for my brother in a gastrointestinal capacity. I don't want him to be sick, but I'm glad I can be the resident expert for any questions he has. As you already know, I love to share my poop tales.

Please Curb Your Cremee Machine

But in all seriousness, wtf kind of animal made such a perfect pooh swirl? This is not Photoshopped, J saw this on his way to the laundromat yesterday. Naturally he thought I'd want to see a picture.