Who Knew Elephant Poo Could Do So Much?

Today's post is brought to you by poopoopaper.com where recycled elephant poo is processed and sold as lovely, enviro-friendly journals and stationary! If only I could make my own dung so profitable.

Now, now, I know it's been a while. I've been a very bad pooh pal, not updating you on the status of my BMs, and for this I truly apologize. It just that...well, no one seems to be reading this. I thought people LOVED to read other peoples' diaries, but apparently not this one. So you (the one or two of you that there are) can surely understand my motivation has been lacking. But with the discovery of the poo paper I had to come crawling back and spread the joy! Also, it's cherry season and I of course ate waaaay too many cherries last night and plopped a mighty load this morning as a result- I just had to share that with someone! It was seriously incredible- it felt like a fat, solid payload, but when I got up and looked back it was really more of a fibrous oil slick floating in the toilet. Ewww! Hahaha, my office bathroom really should have a matchbook in it.

In other news, remission is treating me well (knock on wood). I was using an Advair inhaler and Nasonex for allergies, combined with Zyrtec and some other inhaler that gave me the shakes. Thankfully I've been breathing easy again so I'm not hobbling along on those anti-histamine crutches as much. I've been drinking iced coffee in the morning, but it hasn't been bothering me too much (yet). I'm also taking it with skim milk now in another lame attempt to lower my cholesterol (which went from 214 to 217 in the past three months). I'm trying to eat more pectin-rich foods like grapefruit, apples, and carrots and intend to buy some CholestOff which has gotten decent review from what I can find. Also, I have yet to contract the swine flu, which is a triumph for someone with a comprimised immune system. Again...knock on wood!

I don't think I pooped today

I'm thinking about it and I can't remember if I pooped. If I did it must have pretty unremarkable.
Aunt Flo is still around- she's not making a big fuss, but she's definitely around and has been pretty consistently for the past two weeks. I'm not feeling any ill effects from her extended visit, but it's still pissing me off.

I found out my cholesterol is a little high, so I'm making some dietary changes (or trying to). This morning I had half of a bagel with cream cheese, a cup of coffee and some orange juice. Then we went to the grocery store and I bought some healthy stuff. I made a big thing of chili with fake ground meat and it was really tasty. I made cornbread muffins on the side. I plan to substitute my lunches with fake deli meat and start using margarine instead of butter. I picked up some fruit to snack on, like grapes, bananas, and apples, and intend to drink more soymilk. I could stand to lose a few pounds (by few I mean about twenty) so this should benefit me in more ways than one.

Oh, also of note, I stopped taking the Prilosec just to see how long I last without it.