Preventive Measures

 For those of us keeping an eye out for red in the toilet, beets can pose a real problem.  Well, if you're an airhead like me and can't remember that you ate them.  The first time I ever had beets I almost burst into tears when they came back out, thinking I was bleeding from both my butt and my pee-hole. Thankfully the same thing happened to my then-roommate at almost the exact same time so just as I was being overcome by panic my phone rang and she was on the other end to let me know it was just the beets.  Since then, however, I've made it a point to remind myself that beets were ingested so I don't catch myself by surprise.  On a side-note, I probably won't eat too many beets again for a while, because I was a loud farty gasbag last night and it was gross.